My Life Story

- My Journey Growing Up -

When I was a baby about couple months old

This is Me w/ Mama Emmie, Mama Precious and Tita LemueL

This is Me w/ Tita Nora, Mommy, Mama Precious and Tita LemueL

Preschool - Kindergaten Days

@ the beach w/ Papa Omar

I was born on January 2, 1990. I was raised in Philippines in Banayoyo, Ilocos Sur. Since then, I was always loved, I felt the love and care they gave me. I felt all the happiness I needed to live. I was always active since then, I went to place with mah daddy who's now in heaven, he showed me places no one has ever shown me, he introduced me to friends, family and relatives I haven't even thought of having.

I grew up on a small bakery/store w/ mah guardians since mah mom had to finish her studies. I was on so many activities like marching band, singing, dancing, girl scout and I was active even though we didn't have school. I remember the times that I used to always go out and come home at night time from playing w/ friends. Of course, I had to do homework first before going out because that's just the rules that they made. One of my guardian is mah teacher so I can't get away from her. Time past by so fast that it came to 5th grade and I received a note saying that I have to go to mah guardians classroom for an important meeting, her classroom was across the street which was in 2nd grade, since she teaches 2nd grade classes. So I went and I notice mah sister was there too, so I thought it must be really important, before this I always had the idea that we were moving soon, that mah mom was going to take us with her to the states already but I didn't know when since they haven't told me the exact date. So anyways as I went inside the classroom I saw mah mom with papers, she told us to sign those papers for our passports I think that was or something important. Then came February of 2001 actually January 2001 and we had to go to the airport, we(as in me and mah siblings) wished that we miss our flight and it happened, we missed our flight alright because of traffic in Tarlac, so after that we had to go back to Banayoyo which was 10 hours drive and waited for our other flight which came in February 8, 2001 to Hawaii.

Moved To Hawaii @ February of 2001 - 2007

@ the house in hawaii, when mah hair was still long

High School Days

@ The House in Hawaii

@ the house in hawaii

Here we are in Hawaii, we arrived @ the airport @ February 8, 2001 in the morning. Our uncle picked us up from there. Since then I started not to be active like in Philippines because we couldn't actually go outside since we're new to the place. Days have gone fast enough that I learned how to chat. I was curious to go on the chatroom, me and mah sister went to our uncles computer and used it to go chatting. At first I didn't know anything about it, the rooms and stuff so I explored it. Months past by and we have our own computer but only one, so we had to share it. Mah sis, mah bro and me was active in chatting so we really had to share the computer. I always used to be pissed because I couldn't use the computer when I wanted to, I actually had to get up first to use the computer, lol. So what I did when I'm not on the computer is to either write in mah journal or go outside and just think for a while. We used to sing at night by our mom's car w/ mah uncle playing his guitar, he used to sing to us funny songs and religious songs. I used to lead it or when I get the mood I just sing and he just plays and then he says to go again if he had the chords wrong. We stayed in Hawaii for 6 years and those years I only had 1 vacation which was in 2004 or 2005. It was cool that I had a vacation since I already miss them so much. Junior High school came and we had to move again to italy, we couldn't even finish our studies in Hawaii because we had to move again.

Moved To Italy @ February 2007 - 2009

@ mah room in italy 2009

@ the skul bus 2008

@ the bathroom, almost graduation 2008

@ the skul of 2007, winter time =]

@ almost graduation of 2007

February 23rd of 2007 came and we move to italy, we arrived @ the airport lunch time I think, I couldn't even sleep so what I did is go on the laptop mah dad provided me to use. He said that he knows that I'm into chatting so he said that I could use the laptop. We stayed in italy for 2 years and I didn't even explore all of italy, I mean't I never wen't to some places I wanted to go to in italy, I only had the chance to go to Milan, Rome, Venice and some other places but it was a blast. Since living in italy I never had the chance to have a vacation to Philippines because I had to take care of school stuff but found out that I could've taken those school stuff when I got back from vacation, so I missed the vacation but it wasn't that big of a deal because I had the time to go over to mah guardians place and explore Milan. Months and years past and August of 2009 came and we had to move again to another place called North Carolina.

Moved to North Carolina @ August 2009

@ the airport in Georgia, waiting for the plane going to North Carolina

@ the inn, arrived in North Carolina

@ our house, moved, first day

@ the house, second day of moving

@ mah room, a day where some visitors(friends) came over

@ mah bed, just chillin

@ the backyard, one day when ii decided to go out and play w/ baby cat

@ mah room, just tryin` out the webcam, most recent picture

@ mah room, tryin` out effects on mah webcam

August 8th of 2009 came and here I am in North Carolina. We had to take 2 flights to come here, we had to stop over Georgia which took us 10 hours of flying from Italy To Georgia and 1 and 1/2 hours from there to here. We arrived here @ night time and we had to live for a while in the inn since we don't have a place to live in yet. We lived in the inn til August 24 and we had to buy everything since our stuff is not here yet, the ones that were shift first didn't arrive yet, the first load arrived @ September and the second load arrive @ October. Mah dad wen't to another place for work couple days ago, like 2 days ago. I haven't been outside since but wen't away from mah house about 2 times now. And there you are the story of mah life from living in Philippines to currently living in North Carolina.

Missing You

9:19 PM 


namimiss na kita, ako kaya miss mo na din? - status for today


miss na miss ko na ang hon ko, hays anyways nakausap ko kanina isa sa mga sis ko sa chat, tinanong nya kung para daw kay hon ung status ko, tumawa lang ako sabi nia tuloii hala tumawa, tas sabi ko namimiss ko na sia, mahal ko sia.


im going through all the songs in my ipod, idedelete ko na ung mga ayaw kong mga kanta, at ung mga gusto ko naman ay iuupload ko siguro sa isang uploader para naman maliwanagan ang aking ipod, meii mga magagandang kantang namiss ko sa ipod ko alam ko eh.


ang ganda naman ng nahalungkat kong kanta, it's called "angel by tres" here listen to it:





Angel - Tres Lyrics


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para toh sa hon ko, mali ba talaga tong nararamdaman ko? itutuloii ko pa ba ang nararamdaman ko para sayo? mahal na mahal po kita, kahit korny na ito basta masabi ko lang ang aking nararamdaman para sayo! missing you sobra!


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it feels like it's been a long time since we talked, parang 1 week na taung hindi nagkakausap, tama ba talaga tong nararamdaman ko? itutuloii ko pa ba ang paghihintaii at pagmamahal para sayo? pero pano ko toh ititigil kung ayaw ng puso ko, i'm feeling so alone right now pero kelangan kong magtiis dahil di ko rin naman hawak ang buhay mo eh, meii buhay ka din at meii mga problems din na kelangan mong ausin.


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You - Athena Cage Lyrics


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I Need You Tonight - Backstreet Boys Lyrics



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sobra sa pagpapaiyak ng mga kantang toh at parang nakakapaglubag ng kalooban na nagsasabing kaya ko toh, kaya ko syang hintayin at kelangan kong magtiwala sa kanya, sa mga sinabi nya!

Thoughts

habang naghihintay akong matapos ang pagtatanim ng character ko sa farmville ay magbloblog muna ako..


mahal ko parin sia kahit na ganun ang nangyari kanina, masakit man pero ganun talaga eh, saka kelangan naming mag-usap tungkol dun kung big deal ba talaga un at kung un talaga ang gusto nyang mangyari, i mean i'm giving him the chance to explain, since he's on the low lvl right now kc one of his loveones past away just a few days ago. alam mo un kelangan nia ng supporta and that's the least i can do for him is to give him the condolence. since sinabi niang hindi muna sia mag-ool for a bit but have a surprise when he comes back, i'ma hold on to that. tama bang ihohold on ko ang sarili ko sa sinabi niang un? "sorry ulit next time na mag kita tayo   i'll be giving a surprise na di mo makakalimutan" was wat he said, ewan ko kung ano un kaya nga sinabing sorpresa eh, haha! hindi ko sia ipagpapalit sana naman hindi sia tulad ng iba na hahanap ng iba. lol! sana lang pero aus nalang kung ganun, aus nga ba? ewan ko na basta mahal ko sia, period un na un!


aun eh tapos ng magtanim ang character ko sa farmville, hays natapos rin haha! bisi-bisita lang muna ako sa mga neighbors para narin tulongan sila, hehe! at saka nagpapayaman ako eh, nakakakuha ako ng coins and xp pag nadalaw ako sa mga farm nila kaya kelangan ko un hmp! tinamad lang kc ako nung mga araw na bumisita eh, ngaun sinipag nanaman! para narin makalimot na mag-isip ng kung anong ikakasakit ng puso ko!


may kumakanta ngaun sa room ng kantang "pangako" by kindred garden ata ung kumanta hehe, galing kumanta, ganda ng boses, wahaha! nashare ko lang kc kanina nagpapatugtog lang sia tas bigla nalang kumanta haha! biglang humina ung sounds eh tas boses nalang nia naririnig, pero rinig parin naman ung background music haha! nashare ko lang toh noh, miss ko narin kc c hon eh!

Naranasan Nyo Na Ba?

ang today`s post eh about a lil situation which involves two people in a relationship, na dumating ung time na kelangan nilang mapaglayo.

naranasan nio na ba ung naibigaii nio na lahat ng tiwala nio and love sa kanya tapos biglang sasabihin na lalayo muna ako dahil may nangyaring masama? well I just experienced that last night, actually nanghina ako nung nabasa ko ung sinabi nia na "sorry pero kailangan kong lumayo sa chat" naluha ako bigla as in lumuha ng di mo mapigilan ung agos ng luha mo, hindi mo sya kayang patigilin, tas bigla mong makikita sa chatroom gamit nia ang ibang id at sasabihin na "sawa na ako sa babae", "tambay na ako, sawa ako" at "gusto ko binabasted ako" db ang sakit? alam nio ung feeling na makabasa ng ganun? parang binagsakan ng nakakamatay na bagay eh noh, bakit di nalang dineretso sakin, pasabi pang seryoso sia sa ganito, seryoso ako sau, pero in the end yan lang ang mababasa ko?

para sayo: ano ba talaga ang gusto mong ipahiwatig? bakit di mo nalang dineretso sakin na sawa ka na sa babae, na gusto mong palagi kang binabasted, sana naman sinabi mo para di na kita sinagot db? mas hinigitan mo pa ang taong nagpaasa, grabe mga salita mong binitawan, palagi kong binabasa kc un ang nagpapagaan ng loob ko at nagpapalakas sakin, tas ngaun un din pala ang makakapagpahina sakin? wtf db? tapatin mo ako now, ano ba talaga ang gusto mong mangyari? alam kong may problema ka pero hindi mo naman cguro kelangang itago sakin na sawa ka na. mahirap ba akong kausapin? tanong ko lang ah, mahirap ba talaga akong kausapin at sabihin na sawa ka na? na hindi mo gusto ang nangyayari? mas mahirap atang mag-isip ng kung ano ano kesa sabihin ng diretso eh noh. mahal na nga kita eh tas gaganituhin mo din pala ako, mas malala pa sa hay ewan.

song of the day: Maniniwala ba ako - Roselle Nava





kung maniniwala pa ba ako sa mga sasabihin mo pag nag-usap ulit tau, dahil di ko din alam kung ano pang iisipin ko, hindi ko na gusto ang mga nangyayaring ganito, aukong masaktan ng dahil lang sa katangahan ko, kung katangahan nga ba ang ginawa ko? ang ginawa mo? =)

it hurts

tumulo nanaman ang luha ko, kanina tumulo dahil sa natouch ako sa video na toh 

pero ngaun tumulo dahil sa sinabi niang ito, "kaya nga wala na akong balak mag ol pa eh" at saka ito "sorry pero kailangan kong lumayo sa chat" di ko talaga mapigilan ang luha kong tumulo, ramdam ko ung init ng luha ko na dumadaloy sa pisngi ko eh, mula nabasa ko ang mga salitang yan hanggang sa nag sign out sia umiiyak parin ako. hindi ko na mapigilan eh, masakit kaya un, ikaw kaya makabasa ng ganiang salita noh.

balik muna tau ulet sa movie on top, ang title ng kantang naipatugtog dian is "ALWAYS ONLiNE" and here is the song.

Always Online - JJ Lin Lyrics


since i heard this song kanina, i fell inlove with it, parang ung kanta nyang sha shou, which is this :

Sha Shou - JJ Lin Lyrics

Love these songs =)

ABORTiON

Poems of Abortion (Baby's POV)


Scene #1


Month 1

Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I
have all my organs. I love the sound
of your voice. Every time I hear it, I
wave my arms and legs. The sound of
your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month 2
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my
thumb. If you could see me, you could
definitely tell that I am a baby. I’m
not big enough to survive outside my
home though. It is so nice and warm in
here.

Month 3
You know what Mommy, I’m a girl!! I
hope that makes you happy. I always
want you to be happy. I don’t like it
when you cry. You sound so sad. It
makes me sad too, and I cry with you
even though you can’t hear me.

Month 4
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It
is very short and fine, but I will
have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my
time exercising. I can turn my head
and curl my fingers and toes, and
stretch my arms and legs. I am
becoming quite good at it too.

Month 5
You went to the doctor today. Mommy,
he lied to you. He said that I’m not a
baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I
think and feel. Mommy, what’s abortion?

Month 6
I can hear that doctor again. I don’t
like him. He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home. The
doctor called it a needle. Mommy what
is it? It burns! Please make him stop!
I can’t get away from it! Mommy!! HELP
me!!

Month 7
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus’
arms. he is holding me. He told me
about abortion. Why didn’t you want
me, Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Scene #2

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap.
He loves me and cries with me; 

for my heart has been broken.
I so wanted to be your little girl.  

I don't quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. 

I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing, 

yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, 

I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. 

Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.
I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much. 

One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you. 

I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened.
A very mean monster came into that warm, 

comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming, 

but  you never once tried to help me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as 

I was screaming and screaming,
"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.
It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.

I knew I would never see your face 

or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror, 

I felt the pain of my heartbreaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things 

that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, 

but I didn't know the words you could understand.

And soon, I no longer had the breath 

to say them; I was dead.

I felt myself rising. I was being carried 

by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap.
He said He loved me, and He was my Father. 

Then I was happy. 

I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. 

He answered, "Abortion.
I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is;
I guess that's the name of the monster.
I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.

I tried very hard to live.
I wanted to live. 

I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. 

It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.
I didn't want to die.
Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.
Please be careful.

Love,
Your Baby Girl

My Diary
October 2: Today my life began. My parents do not know it yet. I am as small as the pollen of a flower, but it is I already. I will be a girl. I will have blonde hair and blue eyes. Nearly everything is settled already—even that I shall love birds. 


October 19: I have grown a little, but I am still too small to do anything by myself. My mother does everything for me, although she still does not know that she is carrying me under her heart. But I am a real person just as a crumb of bread is still real bread. My mother exists, and I do too. 


October 23: My mouth is just now beginning to open. Just think—in a year or so I’ll be laughing, and later I’ll start to talk. My first word will be “mama”. 


October 25: Today my heart began to beat. I will beat softly for the rest of my life, never stopping. After many years it will tire and stop. Then I shall die. 


November 2: I am growing continually. My arms and legs are taking shape, but I must wait a long time before these tiny legs will raise me to my mother’s arms; before these little arms will be able to conquer the earth and befriend people. 


November 12: Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. How small they are. One day I’ll stroke my mother’s hair and tell her how nice she is. 


November 20: Only today the doctor told my mother that I’m living here under her heart. How happy she must be! Are you happy, mother? 


November 25: My mother and father are probably thinking about a name for me. And they don’t even know that I am a little girl, so they are probably calling me “Andy”. But I want to be called Barbara. I am growing so big. 


December 10: My hair is growing. It is as bright and shiny as the sun. I wonder what kind of hair my mother has. 


December 13: My eyes are almost fully developed, although the lids are still shut. When mother brings me into the world it will be full of sunshine and overflowing with flowers. I have never seen a flower, you know, but more than anything I want to see my mother. How do you look, mother? 


December 24: My fingers and toes are fully formed. Even my nails are beginning to develop. 
        
December 26: I wonder if my mother hears the delicate beat of my heart? Some children are born with sickly hearts, and then the gentle fingers of the doctor perform miracles to make them healthy. But my heart is healthy. It beats so evenly: tup-tup, tup-tup. You shall have a healthy daughter, mother. 


December 28: Today my mother killed me. 


God says, Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward. (Psalm 127:3) 


The Psalmist wrote, I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee when I was made in secret and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect, and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. (Psalm 139: 14-16) 


Isaiah said, The Lord hath called me from the womb, from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name… And, now, saith the Lord that formed me from the womb to be his servant… (Isaiah 49: 1, 5) 


God said about Jeremiah, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee. (Jeremiah 1:5) 


God says, Be sure your sin will find you out. (Numbers 32:23)

Dear Mummy,

Thank you so much for murdering me. Im in heaven now and i saw all those children that were born without a dad. They were looked down on. Im so lucky that im not one of them. Thank you mummy. If it's not for u, i would be one of them now. Mummy, i've grown so much. I cant wait to meet u in heaven. Mummy, i cant wait to touch u, give u a hug, tell u how sad i am without u here and of cos to call u "mummy"!! Mummy, i saw how much u suffer after murdering me. But i understand why u chose that option. Dont worry mummy. I've never hated u. In fact, i love u and i thank u for that option u chose. God took good care of me. And he loves me! At first, i hate u for killing me. I died a painful death. But wen i reach heaven and saw those kids, i was thankful that i didn't have to go through that. Thanks to u mummy. But then, why are u so stress? Im doing good up here. I growing well. And god took good care of me. Why are u worried mummy? Aint u happy that i dont have to be looked down on? Aint u happy that i dun have to suffer all my life for the mistake u did? Mummy cheer up! I love u mummy. Do take good care of urself. I'll meet u in heaven and give u a big hug! I love u mummy.

Love,
Ur lucky child.


Credits to: baby's point of view by Fiyfee












Baby's Prayer by Kathy Troccoli
I can hear her talking with a friend
I think it's all about me
Oh how she can't have a baby now
My mommy doesn't see
That I feel her breathe, I know her voice
Her blood, it flows through my heart
God you know my greatest wish is that
We'd never be apart
But if I should die before I wake
I pray her soul you'll keep
Forgive her Lord, she doesn't know
That you gave life to me
Do I really have to say goodbye
Don't want this time to be through
Oh please tell her that I love her Lord
And that you love her too
Cause if I should die before I wake
I pray her soul you'll keep
Forgive her Lord, she doesn't know
That you gave life to me
On the days when she may think of me
Please comfort her with the truth
That the angels hold me safe and sound
Cause I'm in Heaven with you
I'm in Heaven with you








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The actual process of abortion:
The process of abortion video



Partial Birth Abortion!





Surgical Abortion!





Dilation and Evacuation Abortion!





these are the type of abortions that was found in search of google. it made me pretty sick just looking at the process pero ganun talaga eh. i'm way against abortion dahil mas painful pa ata ang pagpapaabort kesa ang manganak ng normal. mas painful pang tignan or isipin na papatayin mo ang anak mo kesa ang buhayin ito, i mean hello ano bang dulot ng pagpapa-abort? maliliwanagan ang tummy mo? hindi ka na magdadala ng sanggol? tignan nio at study nio muna ang mga pictures na toh bago kau magdecide if you want to have abortion, tignan natin kung may pagbabago sa isip nio sa pagpapa-abort. kung di nio naman kayang buhayin ang mga anak nio eh ipa-adopt nio nalang kesa ang patayin ito. i mean damn what kind of people, i'm just sick of looking at these kinds and process of abortion! sorry! =)


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The other use of babies that are aborted:










Caution: - Before you look or read the pictures and passage bellow be steady and hold the heart firmly……..


























Brief translation:
Shocking news circulated in China. A town in Canton is now on trend taking baby herbal soup to increase health and sexual performance/stamina. The cost in China currency apprx $ 4000 (I think it is about R2000)
 A factory manager was interviewed and he testified that it is effective because he is a frequent customer.
 It is a delicacy whereby expensive herbs are added to boil the baby with chicken meat for 8 hours boiling/steaming.
 He pointed to his second wife next to him , who is 19 (he is 62), and testified that they have sex everyday.
 After waiting for a couple of weeks he took this reporter to the restaurant when he was informed by restaurant Manager that the spare rib soup (local code for baby soup) was now available .
 This time it was a couple who have 2 daughters and this 3rd one was confirmed to be a daughter again.
 So the couple aborted the baby which was 5 months old. Those baby close to be born and die naturally costs 2000 in China currency.
 Those aborted ones cost a few hundreds in China Currency. Those couples who did not want to sell dead babies, placentas can be accepted also for couple of hundreds. 
 The reporter making comment that is this problem arised from Chinese being taking too much attention in health or is the backfire effect when China introduced one child in a family policy
 (Since majority prefers to have male babies and those poorer families need ended up selling their female






SiDE COMMENTS: this was forwarded on mah yahoo mail, ii was going through mah mail when ii saw this, even if it makes you strong doesn't mean that you have the right to kill the young ones. ii hope that they will realize what they're doing and stop this madness. it's just sick & heartless!